San Juan, Puerto Rico, the NAHJ conference at the Puerto Rico Convention Center; standing at a table of colleagues sipping white wine, trading niceties. That's where I was and what I was doing when I heard the news that Michael Jackson had died. It crystallized in a moment that I would always refer back to that moment when asked in the future.
"That can't be true!" I exclaimed as my colleague stood reading a text message from his friend back home in Texas. I couldn't believe it! It had to be some sort of a joke. First Farrah Fawcet...now this? He hadn't been sick, he was getting ready to go on tour. What happened? I took my skepticism and immediately checked my own mobile device to verify what I believed to be a terrible internet rumor. But as I checked CNN, the NY Times I finally knew it was true after checking my Facebook and reading all of my friend's status messages.
Finally it was confirmed and I couldn't help but wince. It was the end of an era. Michael Jackson and his music punctuated numerous memories in my life. MJ's Thriller was the first album I brought for a holiday party in kindergarten. "Billie Jean" was one of the first songs I remember singing to verbatim. I was mesmerized by his dancing and singing and kept torn out magazine pictures tucked between my Menudo scrapbook of the cute boy who sang songs I sang along to. I kept an MJ doll (sparkly white glove and all) with my precious Barbies. As I got older I admit, his music didn't "do it for me" the way it once had. I actually found myself reverting to his older work: PYT became my personal dance anthem while the Best of the Jackson 5 played on repeat during my college study sessions. I relished 'old Michael' and became excited when new songs caught my attention in the same way: Butterflies, Human Nature, Remember the Time, Bad, etc. etc. How could so much emotion and talent be in one individual? I didn't know but was incredibly grateful that it did.
I say all this to say, I can separate the man from the artist. I appreciate his talent and work and even his humanity. I don't discount other people's truths, perspectives or experiences: he was a human and innately flawed as we all are. But I can't and won't dispel an entire life, body of work or magnanimous soul based on it. Nor will I "dance on his grave". It's too simple.
So on the day of his memorial, I recall where I watched: New York, NY; my office conference room, surrounded by coworkers all silent as we watched and collectively mourned for someone's son, brother, father, uncle. His memorial seemed to reflect his life: a spectacular show that people couldn't tear their eyes away from. And I shed some tears for his humanity and hope that Oya has accompanied on his journey and pray he has found a peace that alluded him in life. R.I.P. MJ.
