15 + 15, 10 to the 3rd, 5 to the 6th, 2 to the 15th
I’m 30 years blessed, 30 years breathing, 30 years dreaming. I reached a milestone in my life at the end of last year. I am grateful and appreciate to have had so many days pass and have lived and learned through them all. I do realize that my profession and innate curiosity cause me to question everyone but never answer many of my own ruminations. So…a little random something for those who care or are just bored or actually find off-handed facts about Ms JRod of interest.
1. I’m the most passionate and proud person you’ll ever meet
2. I’m loneliest when I’m surrounded by people
3. My hands and nose are always cold
4. I love potatoes of any kind
5. I burp long and loud
6. My favorite color is purple
7. I can’t stand loud and annoying people probably because I used to be one
8. I’m a realist because it lives on the borderline of pessimism and optimism
9. I hate tardiness but refuse to wear a watch
10. I don’t like whiners but find myself venting all the time
11. I’m double-jointed
12. I have about a 100 beauty marks across my body (yes I’ve counted)
13. I’m a righty but try to do things with my left hand
14. My fingers and toes match
15. I’m thousands of dollars in debt for an education/experiences that are priceless to my life
16. I act self-deprecating because I don’t know how to take a compliment
17. I’ve never broken a bone
18. I’ve lived in 7 cities, 4 states and 2 countries
19. I hate wearing underwear
20. I believe cleaning is therapy
21. I obsessively check my horoscope
22. I fight to stay awake daily even when my body is screaming for rest (who knows what I might miss!)
23. I’m a womanist
24. I can’t live without music
25. I can read sheet music
26. I know how to play the clarinet
27. Ignorance is my greatest dislike
28. I have a collection of “fun” socks (dancing cows, clawing lobsters, lying lions, etc.) that I wear almost everyday.
29. I’ve been in love three times
30. I have an innate ability to memorize random pieces of useless information (especially if it’s pop culture related).
February 2, 2008
February 1, 2008
Finally Breathing
So it's been forever (months to be exact and way too long of an absence) since I last blogged. I mean reaaaally blogged. While I love giving shout out's and showing love, it's not the same as getting down about a topic, thought, etc. Consequently, I've decided to share why I've been gone. I purposely avoid writing about my personal life or private experiences in order to utilize this platform to "talk about something." A lot of times folks use blogs as personal journals to vent or throw tirades or talk shit. I'm not one of them. I preferred hiding my journal/diary as a child precisely because I didn't want people to know what I was thinking or doing. So why put it online for the whole world to read? But sometimes you can't avoid it. Or can't escape it. And sometimes you shouldn't.
For several months I was holding my breath. I took a step in my life that required more energy and time and spirit I had ever realized I could give. And in the process I stopped breathing. I stopped creating, I stopped relishing, I stopped pushing forward, I stopped nourishing my self and my soul. And then one day a door opened that let in light and oxygen. But it wasn't the door that allowed me to breathe. It was the mere fact that a door even existed and it reminded me that I had to stop holding my breath. And I'm thankful that I deeply inhaled and then exhaled because I had a hell of a day. Then a hell of a week. Then a hell of a few months. It all came falling down on me before I could realize I was being crushed. But like any experience it held a lesson (or in this case several) that I was meant to learn. The "it" was all of the obligations, responsibilities and committements in my life. To my family, my friends, my jobs, my extras, my home; I was committed to everyone but myself. So after realizing that I wasn't taking care of me, had the sick feeling of not being able to go forward, I stopped. And was lucky enough to learn the following….
Everything is Balance: Nothing in your life should take time away from what really makes you happy or what really makes you, you. Whether that's brunching with friends on Sundays, doing community service, reading a novel curled up in your favorite chair, it's all about finding time for yourself and what makes you a sane, competent and person that you (and maybe others) actually want to be about. Don't believe the hype that you have to give up everything in order to have one or a few things. It isn't true. Learning how to create that balance is what takes time.
Manage Expectations: You think you can do everything, so you say that you can. Once you verbalize and put that intention in the air, it becomes real. But things like time, labor and thought are actually required to do things, not just rapidity. So be real with yourself, and folks around you, about what you can and can't do as well as what you want and don't want to do. No one will hate you, I promise. They might even respect you for your candidness.
Smoke & Mirrors: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Meaning? That if something looks too good to be true, it probably is. Don't let people or things fool you. There's another side that you're not seeing or won't see until you're in it.
Do unto Others: People treat you how you allow them to treat you. This probably sounds like the most insane, thing ever, but it really is true. Carry yourself in a way that implores respect, courtesy and consideration and others will treat you in that way. Act like you don't know what you're doing or saying and they'll think they can do or say anything to get over on you.
These Boots Were Made for Walking: Don't be afraid to walk away. No matter what it's from. A lot of times people stay in situations (relationships, living situations, jobs, etc.) because we think that we don't have a choice or that we'll never find something as good (or as bad?) again. Or we think that circumstances make it impossible to make a change and find something else. Doors, windows and eyes are always being opened by the higher power. We just have to pay attention. And of course—the biggie in the equation—is to have faith that it's for a purpose. Even if you have to prolong your departure, know that it's ok that you want or are going to leave.
Second Guessing: Don't doubt yourself and your gifts. Ever. Self-doubt, lack of confidence and fear, as well as ourselves, are our greatest enemies. Whatever you are good at will carry you and move you through your life with positive rewards if you trust and believe in your gifts.
Be Humble But….: Know that while humility is essential, because no one is ever "better" than anyone else, nothing and no one should make you feel less than the great ness of who you are.
These were all lessons that I had learned before in some way, shape or form. But I needed some serious reminding. The kind of reminder that can only happen when many lessons are rolled into one and you have to later unpack all of them to decipher which was which and why it happened. But I'm better for it all. Cheesy as that might sound, it's real.
So whatever your IT is
(The "it" that is stealing time, thought and energy. Something that follows you, stresses you, keeps you up at night, fills your waking hours or keeps your hours awake)
Let it stop stealing your air and start breathing again.
For several months I was holding my breath. I took a step in my life that required more energy and time and spirit I had ever realized I could give. And in the process I stopped breathing. I stopped creating, I stopped relishing, I stopped pushing forward, I stopped nourishing my self and my soul. And then one day a door opened that let in light and oxygen. But it wasn't the door that allowed me to breathe. It was the mere fact that a door even existed and it reminded me that I had to stop holding my breath. And I'm thankful that I deeply inhaled and then exhaled because I had a hell of a day. Then a hell of a week. Then a hell of a few months. It all came falling down on me before I could realize I was being crushed. But like any experience it held a lesson (or in this case several) that I was meant to learn. The "it" was all of the obligations, responsibilities and committements in my life. To my family, my friends, my jobs, my extras, my home; I was committed to everyone but myself. So after realizing that I wasn't taking care of me, had the sick feeling of not being able to go forward, I stopped. And was lucky enough to learn the following….
Everything is Balance: Nothing in your life should take time away from what really makes you happy or what really makes you, you. Whether that's brunching with friends on Sundays, doing community service, reading a novel curled up in your favorite chair, it's all about finding time for yourself and what makes you a sane, competent and person that you (and maybe others) actually want to be about. Don't believe the hype that you have to give up everything in order to have one or a few things. It isn't true. Learning how to create that balance is what takes time.
Manage Expectations: You think you can do everything, so you say that you can. Once you verbalize and put that intention in the air, it becomes real. But things like time, labor and thought are actually required to do things, not just rapidity. So be real with yourself, and folks around you, about what you can and can't do as well as what you want and don't want to do. No one will hate you, I promise. They might even respect you for your candidness.
Smoke & Mirrors: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Meaning? That if something looks too good to be true, it probably is. Don't let people or things fool you. There's another side that you're not seeing or won't see until you're in it.
Do unto Others: People treat you how you allow them to treat you. This probably sounds like the most insane, thing ever, but it really is true. Carry yourself in a way that implores respect, courtesy and consideration and others will treat you in that way. Act like you don't know what you're doing or saying and they'll think they can do or say anything to get over on you.
These Boots Were Made for Walking: Don't be afraid to walk away. No matter what it's from. A lot of times people stay in situations (relationships, living situations, jobs, etc.) because we think that we don't have a choice or that we'll never find something as good (or as bad?) again. Or we think that circumstances make it impossible to make a change and find something else. Doors, windows and eyes are always being opened by the higher power. We just have to pay attention. And of course—the biggie in the equation—is to have faith that it's for a purpose. Even if you have to prolong your departure, know that it's ok that you want or are going to leave.
Second Guessing: Don't doubt yourself and your gifts. Ever. Self-doubt, lack of confidence and fear, as well as ourselves, are our greatest enemies. Whatever you are good at will carry you and move you through your life with positive rewards if you trust and believe in your gifts.
Be Humble But….: Know that while humility is essential, because no one is ever "better" than anyone else, nothing and no one should make you feel less than the great ness of who you are.
These were all lessons that I had learned before in some way, shape or form. But I needed some serious reminding. The kind of reminder that can only happen when many lessons are rolled into one and you have to later unpack all of them to decipher which was which and why it happened. But I'm better for it all. Cheesy as that might sound, it's real.
So whatever your IT is
(The "it" that is stealing time, thought and energy. Something that follows you, stresses you, keeps you up at night, fills your waking hours or keeps your hours awake)
Let it stop stealing your air and start breathing again.
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