Where is my pole?

Being a stripper must be cool.

Why else would all the females I see at clubs these days be so eager to imitate the moves they see in bad hip hop video's, HBO documentaries and scenes from the Soprano's when they're inside the fictional Bada Bing?

Don't get it twisted, I'm not hating on my sisters who, by choice or circumstance, make their livings in the sex industry--whether it's as exotic dancers/pole dancers/strippers/whatever. It's not for me to judge anyone on how they make their ends meet. The only person's judgements you need to be concerned with is your own.

But I am thoroughly distressed when I go out and see everyday chicas replicating these same moves on the dance floor, not because they're that comfortable with their sexuality, not because they're trying to drive some dude wild, but simply because they believe it's the only way they're going to get any kind of positive attention.

Why am I getting on my soapbox? Why should I even care? Because a few nights ago I got to see the "stripper dance" a bit too up close and personal. While out at a concert/party, I was doing my usual people watching; checking out the crowd, feeling the vibe, enjoying the music and the performances on stage. But then outta nowhere, my attention was caught by this one chick. Why did I notice her? She was a pretty girl who was dressed in what I imagine was her sexiest outfit -- a slamming red bustier, capri's and some killer gold heels. But what got me, why I couldn't tear my eyes away from her, was because she went from dancing and buggin' out with her friends to looking like something out of "Girls Gone Wild" DVD. She was busy, getting busy, with hyper active booty claps, hip grinding and dip-it-low tactics. When I looked around for the dude I assumed she was trying to seduce, I realized the "dude" was a cameraman that was taping her every move, with a large light directed straight at her ass and grabbing every moment of her "performance" for whatever webcast, internet site or cable access show the tape would soon appear on.

So why did it bug me? Because she was obviously doing it to get attention. I noticed her toss her hair and whip her legs around all the while repeatedly turning her head to make sure that the cameraman was catching every single move she made. Huh?!?!? Since when was this the way to get discovered? And was she that desperate for the attention that she'd continue performing when the camera was turned off? I noticed her later busily bumping with some dude and another chick, once again, all for the benefit of the cameras that had surrounded the trio. I kept expecting to see things go from music video to porn video before my very eyes.

Now I wouldn't say that I'm a prude or uptight about sex and sexuality, but it truly bothered me to see this young woman gyrate her way around the floor in hopes that her jiggling and giggling, not her pretty face or personality, would get her noticed. And really can you blame her? The glorification of women as objects still exists and gets amplified to like the infinite degree by everyone in mainstream culture. But I'm not fingerpointing and saying the blame falls on just video producers or mysoginistic tendencies.

We, as women, are also responsible, not for how others percieve us but for what we say and do. Women like Gloria Velez, Jenna Jameson, Vida Guerra, Pam Anderson, etc. are being admired and elevated (dare I say looked up to?) to a new height. So if you're in that spotlight shouldn't you say something? Cono, how hard is it to take a minute and think about the kind of impact your actions and words have? To avoid ownership of your public influence and the impact you have on the world around you, is to live in denial. Do what you do, but at least acknowledge that it's a life YOU chose and that each young, impressionable woman has the right to choose her own path rather than trying to emulate and be boxed into a mold that might not fit.

Man...being a stripper must be cool.